Lifes little Reminders

Leo went back to work tonight. He said he wasn't ready but he had to because no one could cover for him. I am worried, and could not imagine myself in his shoes. I keep thinking of how I would be if it were me-I have been unfortunately lucky in not having had to deal with death yet but I know it's coming. Our jobs give us 3 bereavement days; that's just not enough! I need weeks and months to get over the losses I haven't even suffered yet.

One thing I know is that Leo and I are very lucky. More people than I ever though cared have called, emailed, texted, etc to say they were thinking of us and would help if they could. People I just met months ago have been offering their support and have been a great source of it!

Tomorrow is Easter, and I know Leo's family is hurting..With the death of Angel being so close to Easter I fear the two will always be associated together.

We went down to the boardwalk yesterday in an effort to take his mind off of things, and I think it helped a little. Today we helped his Mom go through some old belonging of Leo's that were scattered through out the house.

My father in law passed away on Tuesday. He was a wonderful wonderful man, and it was heartbreaking to watch him suffer. He started showing signs of being sick on our wedding day

Monday the doctors thought he wouldn't make it through the day, so everyone went to the hospital to be with him. Throughout the day, he spoke a few times and family rotated in and out. When we left the medication had him in a pretty deep sleep. Tuesday Leo took me to work and went to the hospital. He called and texted me to let me know his dad wasn't doing well. I will always regret not having my phone on me when I needed it the most. By the time I got back to my office, he had passed. I felt so terribly sad for his passing and also because I wasn't there when Leo needed me the most.

I made my way to the hospital, and said my goodbye. The rest of the day flew by and was spent with family. The constant thought and comfort was that Angel was no longer suffering or in any pain. The services were yesterday, and the outpouring of love and support were incredible. Leo's police chief came and a crew of his co-workers. This week has literally flown by and been an emotional roller coaster. It was touching to see so many people reach out to support myself, Leo, and Leo's family. I am so thankful for all the love I have seen this week.

Seeing Leo's family suffer and in so much pain has been heartbreaking. It's not looking to get any easier either, Leo and his brother have taken it upon themselves to do anything they can to take care of their mother. Its touching and going to be hard for all parties involved.

Angel was a fantastic man and he will be missed by many people.