Lifes little Reminders

I often find that I have forgotten some of the important and fun things from every day life. Here is where I will remember them

My little baby Turbo was put down this morning...Tuesday I noticed something was a little off- he wasn't responding too much and wasn't interested in treats;  but seemed pretty ok. Wednesday I got home and saw him panting. I took him right to the vet, who was very concerned. The vet did some x-rays and gave him some medication. He suspected asthma, or heart worm bc they present in the same way-inflamed airway. My choices were to take him to an overnight hospital for 1000$ on top of the 400$...and I just couldn't. So I took him home and watched him all night. He got worse but wasn't terrible. Leo took him in and the vet said he had gotten worse, and his xrays looked worse. He said even the most aggressive care would most likely not work.

I wanted to leave work so badly but my boss insisted that I stay.The vet called me and spoke to me. He said that normally he wouldn't recommend euthanasia but that Turbo's quality of life was poor and in Turbo's case he would. So now he's gone and I am entirely devastated. I came home and just miss him. He was such a good kitty, and he was only ten months old....In the end they called it heart failure...and I love him so much

A few months ago I developed a popping sound in my shoulder blade. After years of not having insurance, I finally got some and decided maybe I should seek medical attention. So I enlisted the help of a chiropractor. At first, I went with a male because I stereo-typically thought "strong hands". I quickly found out that this was not the case, and after 4 awkward and creepy sessions (one in which he stated "my secretary had to leave early, we are alone now", I decided he was not the one for me.

I was hesistant to see a new doctor but the pain persisted and I had a feeling it wasn't going to go away on it's own. So I decided to try working with a female doctor near my job. During our first session she listened to my history and even spoke to me about some medical issues. She informed me that she has a master's in nutrition, and we even talked about my diet. I explained to her that I left treatment previously due to the doctor performing scary adjustments on me, and not explaining what was going on! She then started treating me with kid gloves.

See, I think that due to the fact I had never received chiropractic care before; it's important to explain things "Barney style" to me or others in my situation. This Dr did.

My sessions so far include a discussion of my pain and it's progression. Then 20 minutes of uniterrupted heat and vibration therapy. During this time, I usually contemplate my day, and inner thoughts and feelings- and then I fall asleep. In these rare moments I am turned off from the world, not bothered, and allowed to just be.

After my nap, she comes in and does some muscle manipulation while talking about the mental health industry (where I work), and our husbands, and their jobs, etc.

All and all it's a pretty great experience, and I am hopeful about it's potential. :)

So things have been hectic as usual. My coworker said something very insightful today along the lines of "We work in such high stress environments that when we get home it's impossible to have down time". And now I am home with some time to myself, and I am dying to fill that time up!

Work has been hectic. Coming back from a week off is insane. My clients have been quite needy and dramatic. I pretty much have 0 time to prepare, and even less down time! But my co-workers are great, and pretty much make the job bearable.

Did I write about my grad app being submitted? Yea now it's just the waiting game...I am telling you I am celebrating like no other when [IF] I get in.

Needless to say, Leo is a mess over the loss of his Dad. I have felt more than helpless in regards to dealing with his sadness. His family has pulled together, and I am pretty sure things have been smoothed over with his brother and I.

want to write for cathartic purposes and then I feel as I have nothing important to say.

Also- I have been having strange pain in the calf of my leg. I convinced myself it's a blood clot, but it's probably not..Im a hypochondriac

I also feel as if I am a mess inside. Between the stress of Leo's loss, 3 jobs, my brother getting arrested, and making ends meet- I'm almost a mess!

Oh and I found out today that Aerosmith is playing at Fenway, and I must get tickets!!! I'm a Red Sox fan (har har) because I was born in Boston. Grew up listening to Aerosmith- I <3 themmmmmmmmmm

Leo went back to work tonight. He said he wasn't ready but he had to because no one could cover for him. I am worried, and could not imagine myself in his shoes. I keep thinking of how I would be if it were me-I have been unfortunately lucky in not having had to deal with death yet but I know it's coming. Our jobs give us 3 bereavement days; that's just not enough! I need weeks and months to get over the losses I haven't even suffered yet.

One thing I know is that Leo and I are very lucky. More people than I ever though cared have called, emailed, texted, etc to say they were thinking of us and would help if they could. People I just met months ago have been offering their support and have been a great source of it!

Tomorrow is Easter, and I know Leo's family is hurting..With the death of Angel being so close to Easter I fear the two will always be associated together.

We went down to the boardwalk yesterday in an effort to take his mind off of things, and I think it helped a little. Today we helped his Mom go through some old belonging of Leo's that were scattered through out the house.

My father in law passed away on Tuesday. He was a wonderful wonderful man, and it was heartbreaking to watch him suffer. He started showing signs of being sick on our wedding day

Monday the doctors thought he wouldn't make it through the day, so everyone went to the hospital to be with him. Throughout the day, he spoke a few times and family rotated in and out. When we left the medication had him in a pretty deep sleep. Tuesday Leo took me to work and went to the hospital. He called and texted me to let me know his dad wasn't doing well. I will always regret not having my phone on me when I needed it the most. By the time I got back to my office, he had passed. I felt so terribly sad for his passing and also because I wasn't there when Leo needed me the most.

I made my way to the hospital, and said my goodbye. The rest of the day flew by and was spent with family. The constant thought and comfort was that Angel was no longer suffering or in any pain. The services were yesterday, and the outpouring of love and support were incredible. Leo's police chief came and a crew of his co-workers. This week has literally flown by and been an emotional roller coaster. It was touching to see so many people reach out to support myself, Leo, and Leo's family. I am so thankful for all the love I have seen this week.

Seeing Leo's family suffer and in so much pain has been heartbreaking. It's not looking to get any easier either, Leo and his brother have taken it upon themselves to do anything they can to take care of their mother. Its touching and going to be hard for all parties involved.

Angel was a fantastic man and he will be missed by many people.